To the future in reverse...
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case.

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9 moderation statements, zero moderation! Tomarken.com - The Anti-Plagairist!


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2004-05-31, News. Cristina Ellisson, Moderator of the Public:

As so many regimes have been known to do, and as our town elders have so advised, tomarken wishes to provide a vent for which the community can safely voice its anger without bringing down the whole damn thing. We have already provided to forum, but no…that’s too participatory, so what we are now going to do is bring in someone who will be that loud-mouth talk radio style voice that will carry out your bitches on your behalf. Meet Cristina Ellisson, the Moderator of the Public. While we’re at it, yes others do this too, but hold on a second there Ms. Ellisson, while the structure may be taken by example, the content certain will swipe unique in accordance with implicit doctrine.

Front page image for THE TOMARKEN INTERVIEW SERIES:The Gun Toter! at Tomarken.com.
2004-05-24, F. Nick Michaels. THE TOMARKEN INTERVIEW SERIES:The Gun Toter!:

On behalf of Tomarken, Intervalist F. Nick Michaels on recent ocasion sat down with his 20-year old neighbor to try to understand why he needs 4 guns in his apartment in the tiny little college town of Pullman, WA. Here’s an oppurtunity to learn the motivation directly from one of these mystical Gun Toting creatures without having to directly fear for one’s life–thank you F. Nick, and from all of us at Tomarken, overlord’s speed.

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2004-03-24, Ambivilen. Nerd Words:

For those who “Want to read the dictionary but simply don’t have the timeNerdWords!

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2004-03-22, Criticism. Friendster:As a guide to the “Why” Generation:

The initial gestapo-style word-o-mouth advertising that one had to endure on Friendster(R) before any honest-minded folk had the oppurtunity to make up their own minds on what this newly-fangled use of computer techonology added or subtracted from their present functionality serves as a great example of what its like being a lifetime resident of the “perpetual indentity-searching-Post-MTV(R) generation”-submitted by Daniel P. Beckmann

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2004-03-08, Ambivilen. “This is the American Dream”:

All Americans, row by row, one single tribe united together behind their tele-visions proclaiming This is the American Dream-submitted by Richie Zevin

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2004-03-07, Criticism. Genetic Code of Aussie Phame:

If you’re looking for a place to birth your children so that they can later become famous Australians, you will have to look only for places other than the island continent. For the Genetics of Aussie Phame apparently cannot be arranged in a place that has less developed culture than yoghurt.-submitted by Daniel P. Beckmann

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2004-03-06, Criticism. The Book of Job:A Lecture:

A long time intervalist, Dr. Yarrum purports with all modesty that his Lecture on the Book of Job is one of his favorites. So…At this point I want to remind you, that this is a review of a book; that all the characters are fictional. I don’t want to lose you in deep philosophical discussion. We are still in Broward County and it is in the morning. Publix is calling and K-Mart beckons-submitted by Dr. Yarrum

Front page image for The Pressures of the Christ at Tomarken.com.
2004-02-19, Criticism. The Pressures of the Christ:

It doesn’t look like Paul Harvey, it doesn’t smell like Paul Harvey, but for some reason they want to you to believe that it is. Why certain organized religious zealots purposefully use falsities in an attempt to bring people back to the flock and to appease those within:The Pressures of The Christ-prompted by Chasing 12

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2004-02-09, F. Nick Michaels. Penguin Emperor:

The usual assumption is that the story of U.S. continental expansion is one part Oregon Trail, one part manifest destiny, and one part cowboys and Indians. But who knew the missing ingredient was nutso short guy whose favorite part of 1980s California is water slides? Learn how the "Penguin Emperor" tried his best to help the U.S. stretch to the Pacific.-submitted by F. Nick Michaels

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2004-02-07, Daniel P. Beckmann. Planet Earth Intellegence:

Step right up! Be the first in your quadrant to be able to decipher “False-Profits”…WOW the local autoritarian with your grasp of their authorit-ty!!…quantify your smarts on a scale from here to infinit-ty! Planet Earth Intellegence-submitted by Daniel P. Beckmann, Moderator of Letters.

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