The Art of Getting Women Dr. Bill Mendelshon 05.23.02-Chicago, IL

Many guys get very confused about what women want and how to please them. For a short while until I was in about 10th grade, I was one of these dumbfounded guys who couldn’t figure it out. Then came my big epiphany, a moment of clarity, if you will. The skies cleared, the sun shone down upon me, and it all looked so simple and clear. All women want the same thing, one thing…….money! Course, all men want that too. But if you have money, you have women.

Not quite the answer you were looking for? True, not all men have money, so the question remains: how does one get women to sleep with you? Well, this took a few more years for this theory to be developed. After much trial and error, extensive field research and the use of many different techniques, it comes down to the fact that women just want you to be yourself. I must preface that if being yourself means staying at home and watching Star Trek re-runs, you will never get a woman. You can not be afraid to approach them and start up a conversation.

Getting women is like making a sale, or scoring a goal: It’s a numbers game. The more you shoot, the more you score. You can not score if you don’t take a shot. Now, the right mind set also helps in the successful pursuit of women. Two ways I have found helpful in dealing with everyone’s worst nightmare, rejection, are simple:

1. For every woman who turns me down, that means I have identified one stupid bitch who doesn’t like me, and that inherently makes my odds greater with the rest of the women out there.

2. When a woman says no to me, she is only clowning herself. She therefore is too stupid to recognize a good thing when it’s standing right in front of her, and so I wouldn’t want to give her the pleasure of being with me anyway.

Once you have tackled the hardest step of approaching a girl, there are several things you can do to increase your chances that she will be waxing your johnson at some point in the future. One is to throw out compliments as much as possible. This accomplishes two things:

1. It let’s her know you are not interested in a friend, but rather interested in becoming friendly with her private parts. Being the puppy dog, shoulder to cry on, ear to complain too only gets you to the dreaded friend zone, which, once you’re in, is as hard to climb out of as an avalanche.

2. The second thing compliments do is put her in a euphoric state of mind. Women love to hear how great they are, how sexy they are, how fun, how smart, whatever stupid thing you can come up with, they will eat it out of your hand. They will stop thinking clearly and start to get a warm feeling which they will associate with you because you are the one giving them this tingly sensation with just your words.

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Dr. Bill’s Patented StrategiesSTRATEGY #1
Another strategic move that helps to close the deal is the use of alcohol. You must be a skilled practitioner at this because you can walk a fine line between lowering her inhibitions and getting her so wasted, she passes out on you. One piece of advice, always error on the side of too little alcohol. At least then you may still have a chance of putting on the velvet jacket, whereas once she’s incredibly wasted, it’s a good idea to not do anything, even if she is slobbering on you and begging for it. You never know what she will remember when she wakes up and how she will frame the story. So always cover you own ass by not getting any ass if the girl is trashed- if she likes you, you’ll get another chance, if she didn’t like you in the first place, you may just have avoided a life ruining date rape trial.STRATEGY #2
Another tactic that makes women wet is a good sense of humor. Though it is yet to be scientifically proven, my experiments have shown there is a direct relationship between women’s laughter and their desire to have sex with you. As they laugh, they relax and let down their guard. They see you as less of a predator, and more as a sweetheart. Whether you are funny or not is not important. What is important is that you are confident in your sense of humor, and she will follow. In addition to laughing, smile as much as possible. You don’t want to be the serial killer guy, you want to be the light hearted guy that will always puts her in a good mood.

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A trap that many men often fall into is talking about themselves. It is true that everyone’s favorite subject is themselves- what other topic do they know more about? When you first meet a woman, she doesn’t give two shits about you, but she most likely loves herself. So ask her about her. It doesn’t matter what you ask: what she does, where she went to school, where she grew up, what her favorite foods are, where she likes to shop, what hobbies she has, all these things have positive associations in her mind. The more they talk about themselves, the more they will like and trust you. In addition, the more you learn about them, the more you find out what makes her tick and how you will be able to introduce her to your bed. Remember, though you may think you are fascinating, you’re not. You’re boring and stupid so say as little about yourself as possible, even if she asks you about yourself. If she asks you about yourself, it is already a good sign- she’s interested, so don’t fuck it up by saying something stupid. In addition, if you are brief and non-descriptive when talking about yourself, you will leave with somewhat of a mystique and leave her wanting to know more about you.There are many other things you can do to increase your odds of making this woman go crazy for you, but I am not writing a novel and there is the matter of closing I would like to address. A few more things you can do to help her realize you are her fantasy include looking her in the eye. Eye contact is essential because it let’s her know you’re not afraid of her. She will be able to read the lust in your eyes and understand quickly that you don’t want to harm her, you want to please her. She will begin to take the submissive role, and soon turn into putty in your hands. Another key play is getting her to say “yes.” That may sound stupid, but it is a proven sales technique. Who cares what you ask, “Do you like warm weather?” “Yes.” Do you like good food.” “Yes.” “Do you like to go shopping?” “Yes.” Before you know it, she is so used to the word, that you ask, “Do you want to go back to my apartment?” and she says, “Yes.” The more you get her to say yes, the easier it will be to say in the future, and the less familiar she gets with saying no.So, you’ve worked your charm and magic on some broad and invited her to your place, to which she has said, “yes.” Now what? I have one piece of advice: A.B.C. Always Be Closing. There is no time or room for doubt. It is not a question of does she want to or not- it is a question of whether you are going to find out for sure. Look at it this way: If you try and she is not having it, at least you know and can stop wasting your time. If you don’t try, you’re clowning yourself and turning yourself into a chump in her eyes. Never a good formula for getting laid. Remember what they said in the movie Swingers (if you haven’t seen this movie, do it now!) you are a big bear and women are little bunny rabbits. Don’t pat the bunny around, use your claws and kill the bunny. What that means is, we all have the ability to get women to sleep with us, you just have to go for it and close the deal. If you don’t shoot, you can’t score.