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"Governor's penis busy" - The New Haven Connecticut Register > Revolution > Women of the World Unite! (06-07-03)
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Women of the World Unite!

Jessica Glass
06.7.03-Birmingham, AL

This afternoon, I was listening to singer/songwritter Jim O’Rourke croon while driving down the highway. His lyrics on one song in particular kept looping through my head again and again. Jim sang, “Women of the world take over, Cause if you don’t the world will come to an end, It won’t take long.”

It is is a beautiful song that I love and listen to often. But this afternoon it got me thinking about that age old cliche which states: If women ran things there would be no wars, etc…

It is a nice idea and like most nice ideas I think it looks better on paper then it could ever actually work out. At the risk of offending my feminist sisters, I will claim that if women could ever really take over, which I highly doubt unless some bubonic-type maladie wipes out all males, things would not be all that different. When a person, male or female, gets enough power they will eventually misuse that power in someone’s eyes. Men become assholes and women become bitches. Blah, blah, blah. The idea that women in power would be kinder, gentler versions of our current world leaders is a crock. The role of woman as nurturer is, in my opinion, overrated and exagerated across the board.

So, if we did take over it wouldn’t matter and we probably couldn’t take over in any meaninful way anyhow. But is there nothing the women of this planet can do to foster peace and good will? I say that there is at least one glimmereing chance. The women of the world should unite as one and refuse to give any sexual pleasure to any man, especially those in powerful positions, with the explanation that no one will get off until all this mass murder stuff is cut-out for good. That’s right ladies, get out your vibraters cause it’s time to cross your legs to all the nasty war-mongering men and their penises.

Just think of what might happen if all the wives, mistresses and girlfriends just stopped giving “it” up in one united voice. It would be a voice that would scream very loudly in the ears of men. “Put down your gun or you won’t get none!”

Legistically I realize this will be diffucult to accomplish but I imagine far less difficult than ousting every male politician, and possibly, much more effective. One problem is that this will not apply to the roughly ten percent of people who are gay. To all those people I hereby plead that you not have sex with your significant other until world peace is achieved. Another problem is that there are a lot of sluts out there who no matter what I say simply won’t comply. It saddens me that there are so many weak willed and horny among us but what can i do. Some men are studs and some women are sluts. Blah, blah, blah. There is also the problem of all the women who are veiled or otherwise brainwashed, abused, exploited, etc…

My hope is that I will be able to amass about a third of women world wide, a billion give or take a few hundred million, to agree to join me in my quest. I think this will be enough to at least get our message across. I hope to do this by January 1st 2006. So guys, get some while you can because come ‘06 the honey pot is being sealed by the Chaste Women For A Better Tomorrow. Ladies, shout our message from every roof top. Tell your sisters, mothers, aunts, daughters, neices, cousins and gay friends that we won’t put out until men give in.

I just decided this while driving on the highway this afternoon.

2 Responses to “Women of the World Unite!”
  1. dryarrum, on June 17th, 2003 at 3:06 pm, said:

    Great idea.
    reinventing the ancient Greeks!

    Guide For Aristophanes’ Lysistrata’
    The plot is about as simple as it gets: Athenian women, fed up with the Peloponnesian War, barricade themselves in the Acropolis and go on a sex strike to force their husbands to vote for peace with Sparta.

  2. hollie , on June 25th, 2003 at 11:46 am, said:

    i just read this article and i am writing to tell you that it is so funny and i am glad you put it up. who is this girl anyway?


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