Once You’ve Got a Woman, What do You Do With Her? Dr. Bill Mendelshon 07.09.02-Chicago, IL

If you have studied my first research report and you have put my theories into practice, then you currently have more women then you know what to do with. My current FDA-approved report covers three important topics:

1. How to prioritize which women you see and how often.
2. How to step to the plate and go for the extra base.
3. How to get rid of them when you have gotten everything you want or find someone with bigger tits.

TOPIC # 1
Since I know we are all busy hunting beaver, I will jump right in. I am not only a writer of how to be a pimp, but I am also a practitioner. So if you have followed the advice of my first article, you have several women on your “depth chart.” The depth chart consists of the different women you are seeing, number one(1) in the rotation being the one you like the most and most often want to see.

---

Dr. Bill’s Patented Strategies

STRATEGY #1
One important thing to keep in mind once you are dating some broad is not to be a chump. One way to avoid this is to not go out with her every night and to have some plans of your own. Once you are seeing the same girl every night, you have become her bitch and mind as well let her carry your cock and balls. But that’s a whole other research project.

---

Through trial and error, plug and play (pun intended), I have found it is difficult to let your depth chart go deeper than five broads at any one time. Here is why: Number one on your list should get one weekend night. This let’s her know that she is your “bottom bitch,” which actually means number one ho in pimpin’ terms. Whether she gets Friday or Saturday night, it does not matter, but you must use the other weekend night to add to your list of prospectives. We will get into that in a minute.

Your number two girl should get Thursday night. This let’s her know she is climbing your depth chart and will encourage her to please you even more so she can become your bottom bitch. Depending on how deep your chart goes, you move backwards:

Number three(3) gets Wednesday night,
Number four(4) gets Tuesday night,
and Number five(5) gets Monday night.
Simple. Yet it is also important to give yourself one night a week, preferably Sunday, to rest and revise your game plan. You must continually evaluate your performance so you can continually improve and trick hotter women into sleeping with you.

“But Dr. Bill,” some of you may ask, “What if our depth chart is not as deep as yours?” Well little Willy, there is nothing unusual about that and there are several solutions:

#1. You may choose to give your top broad an additional night.
#2. Or you may choose to take an additional night to prospect.

It is important to find your level of comfortability and maintain that number in your starting rotation. As you prospect more, gain more confidence, and begin to go out with better quality women, you can replace the least desirable woman with a better one. So if your threshold is three women, then you can:

Go out with number one(1) two nights a week
, One night each for numbers two(2) and three(3)
, Keep two nights for hunting better quality beaver, and
leave Sunday to regroup, and devise better hunting techniques.

TOPIC #2
So you have got your depth chart in order, you have gone out with the crazy broad and she is back at your place. What do you do now?

---

Dr. Bill’s Patented Strategies

STRATEGY #2
One important thing to remember is that she wants it just as bad as you do, or else she would not be with you right now. Women are a bit more picky then men, they need a reason to have sex whereas men just need a place. But they have chosen you because you do not say stupid shit, you compliment her, and by looking her in the eye, you exude an aura that you are the king of lovemaking.

---

Many guys get all worked up over the first move. When should I do it? How should I do it? What should I say? None if this is important. What is important is that you sack up and dive right right in. There are two things that can happen when you make your move:

1. She wants it, let’s it happen, and you are on your way circling the base paths trying to break Barry Bonds’ record of 73 home runs in a year.
Or
2. She does not want to become intimate with you so you find out right away before you waste any more time and money on the gold digger and kick her to the curb.

Either way you are much better off. Assuming you have gotten the green light to let the drag race begin, which is usually the case because women, although not very bright, will rarely go out with or come home with someone they do not want, there are two important rules to remember:

1. Five fingers and she’s out.
2. Three strikes and you’re out.
The five finger rule was first developed by Socrates and later proved in theory by Ron Jeremy. If you can fit five fingers in a girls’ velvet jacket, you do not want anything to do with her. She is a huge slut and may be carrying many disturbing features that she will pass along to you. You may still let her wash your tool, but do not put your tool in the tool box, for you might not get it back. And if you do get it back, it might get rusty way before its time. As you explain to her why her attempts at begging for sex are being unanswered, it is important to never call her the dirty slut that she is. In fact, it is extremely important that you never call any woman a slut. Being a slut is not a bad thing, in fact, it is better for the male population in general, so you never want to use that as your derogatory comment. I have plenty of other remarks that will work just fine but without encouraging them not to put out.

The three strikes and you are out rule comes from the Ancient Japanese Ming Dynasty and was kept alive through the Mayans, Aztecs, and latter Mike Tyson- although he didn’t quite grasp the rule in its entirety. As you circle the base paths with the speed of a cheetah, there are times when a woman will say, “no,” or “stop.” This is a perfectly normal response from the female species. It can be explained by their complex DNA structure and the fact that they have snakes in their heads restricting blood flow to the brain making it more difficult to have a rational thought. As you begin to pleasure them, the blood rushes to other parts of the body, creating an even more irrational thought process. Though they want to be pleasured, their mind starts racing and sometimes your woman may not know how to handle the situation. So when they mean yes, they may say no. The best thing you can do is slow down, put the car in reverse, and back up a bit. This will give the female creature time to catch up to herself, realize what a stupid comment she made, and possibly encourage you to get back to where you were.

You must always, always try three times to advance a base. Should she hit the cut off man a third time, that is when you know she actually means it, and you must stop for good.

It is a most rare occasion that a woman will be the aggressor in a sexual pursuit, so you must be the one to always make the move and keep making the move until you are certain she is looking for the batting average title rather than the home run crown. Should she give you the called third strike and you have not yet reached a satisfactory level of satisfaction, she may be subject to falling in the rotation or possibly being waived to free agency all together.

TOPIC #3
The final step to getting women is getting rid of unwanted women. It is very rare you will meet a broad who is not at least slightly crazy in some way. Most women, after being with you, will want a much more serious relationship. Do not be alarmed, that is a females’ “nesting nature.”
Most of your women will like you much more than you like them and will want to monopolize your time, monopolize your money, and monopolize your sperm. Alas, there are ways to let a woman know you would prefer to not see them anymore because you have too many other broads who have bigger milk bags than they do.

---

Dr. Bill’s Patented Strategies

STRATEGY #3
Before we get into the different methods, it is key to remember never to piss a girl off and be a dick head about it, That is not the way of the zen-master beaver-hunter. A true black belt beaver hunter knows that once he tricks a woman into bed, he can usually trick that same beast into bed with him again. Always leave things on good terms for that future possibility of tasting her fruit yet again.

---

I have found two methods that have worked the best. One is the fade, the other is the bait and switch.

The fade is when you let her fall down your depth chart.
You call her less, maybe go out only once every two weeks, and you stop doing nice, thoughtful things for her like taking her out to dinner and going down on her. Then you just kind of let it fade and only call her once in awhile, preferably when you know she won’t answer to ask her how she is and what’s going on in her life. She will appreciate the fact that you still care, but understands you are not interested in seeing her at the moment.

The bait and switch consists of more of a direct approach.
It begins with the industry standard, “We need to talk.” You begin by lying to her and telling her how much you care for her and all the great things you like about her- the bait. Then you quickly switch to, “But I have been seeing someone else and we have decided to start dating exclusively.” This let’s her know that you are capable of a monogamous relationship, even though you are not, and it let’s her know that you do care for her, but she’s just not your number one horse right now. Again, keep in touch, preferably when you know she is not home, which allows her to keep you in her mind.

Keep in mind there are times when a woman’s snakes are very big and she can get quite emotional. If you think one of the women you are about to send down to the minors might have a breakdown and put lives or tools, at risk, this must be done over the phone. Should they continue to harass and call, do not answer any phone calls, do not return any emails, do not open any mail for at least 3-6 months, depending on the craziness of the broad.

Should you have any questions on these scientific theories and experiments, do not hesitate to write me and I will answer any question I can or attempt to conduct additional research to get the answer.