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Polar bears are left handed. > TOMARKEN INTERVIEW SERIES > THE TOMARKEN INTERVIEW SERIES: Introduction (09-28-02)
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09.28.02-Otterloo, THE NETHERLANDS

With our ironclad garuantee of avoiding the zero sum gain, we are now your new home of the post-post structuralist interveiw scheme! No more scripts…no more couchs or fake mics from the 50s that aren’t even plugged in! We’ve thrown all that crap out the window.

We’ll ask the questions that no one thinks of to the people that you probably aren’t thinking about. All in the pursuit of bringing to the surface the facts…just the facts.

The following are some “simulated” tomarken interviews of the future…

TOMARKEN.COM: Mr Allen, are you aware of the relationship between considering oneself a filmaker and wearing thick black glasses? If so, do you want to take ressponsibility for starting this movement or would you please be so kind as to fess up to your toolbagedness like the rest of ‘em?Allen: I!, a….dadadadadada
TOMARKEN.COM: Mr Kissenger, you son of bitch-YOU!…your hands bear the blood of thousands of people!… may your dreams carry each of their screaming faces with you past your own doom!….Are you indeed one of these filmakers and if so, where can we find some of your most recent work?Kissenger: I!, a….dadadadadada
TOMARKEN.COM: IN your recent trip back to your homeland of Poland, you made a speech in which you denounced Science. And may we say BRAVO! But more specifically, could you address the doctrine of What comes up, must come down? Further…is the globe really flat like was once thought and that this evil science concocted this spherical scheme to inhibit the spread of the Catholic Church to reach places further?John Paul II: I!, a….dadadadadada
TOMARKEN.COM: New Jersey Turnpike Toll Collecter #3262-G, you work Exit 13(I-278, Elizabeth, Goethals Bridge, Verrazano Bridge) …Eww that smell, don’t you smell that smell, the smell that’s around youeeeeeeewwwww! Is it really from the manufactur of ‘taste’ of the fast food industry or is it really dead bodies and trash and oil refineries? What is the average life expectancy of your fellow counterparts in the NJ Tunrpike Toll Collecting industry?New Jersey Turnpike Toll Collect #3262-G: I!, a….dadadadadada

Most seriously folks…watch for these interviews. We hope to give those folks at Playboy(R) a run for their money. Also, anyone is welcome to submit an interview as part of this series, although it might behove you to seek assistance from your moderators ahead of time in this case only, so as to make sure that you are adhering to our policies on submission, for this will be a target enforcement area.

Please send your ideas for interviews and other related items by responding at the bottom of this page.

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