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Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case. > Criticism > Down with Modern Love!:Forward (08-18-02)
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Down with Modern Love!
Forward the Phallocracy Part INels Frye
05.12.01-Hyde Park, IL

“Young conservatives have no heart and old liberals have no brain” said Winston Churchill, apparently. This seems to fit the conception of the two groups we still have at the present. Liberals are idealistic and hope to perfect society for everyone, often through revolutionary changes. Conservatives think tradition should be altered gradually or not at all. The young speak of bettering the world for all since they themselves tend not to have a stake in that world. Older people often oppose policies aimed at benefiting society as a whole, which are detrimental to the happiness of their families.

We might agree that if a college student supports conservative policies, though these may be more practical, he is a bit heartless. There is no dire need for him to be so practical right now. He shouldn’t act like obtaining enough inheritance to vacation on the Riviera is already important. When the system oppresses blacks, gynandromorphs, woman, and every other group, he should fight so they can enjoy the same advantages as him. That would show he had a heart, that he loved everyone, that he wanted things to get better. He has the luxury to have a heart at this stage-so why should he want to grow up too fast?

After all, many of us dread adulthood. We don’t want the tedium of gazing at a screen every day, and we dread a sagging gut and a billion bills. Most of us will marry our tenth significant other, realizing it is unlikely that we will find anyone better. Since we’ve been committing fornication with each other for four years already, making love will be as adventurous as other bodily functions after we vow to stay together for a spell. We will have a dull life with that spouse or have a few more. More exciting will be the cars and houses. Promotions will be divine, or maybe we’ll start our own companies. We can retire young and buy a yacht to wait to die or remain in the animal farms till we’re older. After about eighty-five years of being upstanding and insignificant members of this unit we will die and our great grandchildren might know our names. At twenty, I already understand every possibility. Believe me: they are all quite banal.

Yes, adulthood seems like something we should stave off at all costs. We must utilize what little time we now possess and dream of being big and beautiful, and making a difference. This is what it means to be youthful. While in college, we can prolong childhood and avoid being realistic. Some have glorified maturity but, as I have demonstrated, it is rather insipid. Society will gradually transform us into cogs and hogs but now we should display our true, unaltered nature and seek to make our world more harmonious and generally peachier for everyone.

But would our natures, untainted by adult society, really make us want good for our opponents-I mean-fellow humans? It’s difficult to say. However, sometimes it also seems hard to understand the motivations of these priveledged liberals who profess to want good for unfortunate groups. I don’t blame the people who genuinely have miserable existences if they want to improve their lots. A black living in one of the charming communities that hems-in Hyde Park should rally his brothers to topple the white power structure. A woman would be cowardly not to attempt the subversion of the immense phallocracy. And those males who know themselves to be females and females who are really male should fight hard to be accepted. This important minority, in particular, should rejoice at their recent victory: the city of San Francisco, of all places, will now pay for the sex changes of its employees. The insane Emperor Elagabalus of Rome, infamously, wanted to have such an operation, but with more jagged instruments. Now we will exhibit the success of democracy and technology! With these, any citizen can enjoy safely and without cost or the censure of society what once only a mad tyrant dared attempt.

Some reforms are clearly too essential even for the most selfish to oppose. But why should the children of the powerful try to help accomplish the goals of larger groups, the members of which are less gorgeous than those San Franciscans? There is only so much power to be had in the world. Evil white males or phallocrats of every race should try to keep it. Sharing this power they possessed has not made them any happier.

The self-righteous moderns have convinced us that these power structures were artificial, unnecessary, and not based on any real philosophical justification. Not only that but they couldn’t have been, since society constructed the illusion of philosophical justification as well. We willed these power structures into existence and, like every moral or social convention, no deeper or inherent principle justifies their existence. This essay is indeed waxing tiresome if it must repeat these commonplaces.

I remind everyone of these firm and well-known principles because we often forget that they must not necessarily lead to a society founded on compassion, equality, and progress. It turns out that in our society even though the Christian God has been abolished, his, arbitrarily chosen, call on us to love our neighbors has been retained. Like in other matters, there is no philosophical justification for this cooperative attitude. Society has constructed a system, so it seems, that aims at making life as free and happy as possible for every single little person. This seems nice and convincing but that doesn’t make it justified for any individual in particular.

Why shouldn’t the individual just follow his or her real governing forces? Each being has a will. In the last few decades we have confirmed that people have no impetus (beyond society’s conditioning) for pursuing Christian morals, nobility, or anything else. However some worthy causes for the will have been squeezed through the miniscule holes of this strainer of demystification.

We are perpetually wild mares in heat. Our libidinous urges must be given full rein. They refuse to free or even mention any of our other primal urges. Sadly, some may even weary of our eternally uninhibited bacchanalia. Ironically but delightfully, many of them will be women and feminists. Predictably, most men rate the new opportunities to sow their oats higher than dominating society.

But for those few whose thirst has not been slaked by this, Berkeley-style, infinite series of orgies, other supremely worthy urges remain to be discovered. Here, they want to curb our activity.

I beg many other urges to come into existence! Others begin to will their own into being! Forward the phallocracy!

Each one of us is a human who can’t stand being an indistinguishable spark plug. We want fame and glory. The natural impulse of the advantaged few should be to preserve their power, and let the wretchedness of those under them fortify their egos. Some facilely argue that a level playing field will make them feel more exalted after their victories. These victories will be fewer and, from the position of equality with the pathetic lebbage, far less brilliant. All people will achieve their own piddling successes and let them collect in collective potholes. The powerful should stomp in these puddles and splash them in the eyes of the weak as they cheer each other in unison. We each want the rest of humanity perpetually flattering us from beneath our Gucci boots!

But society will resist the urges of the phallocracy. The shears already loom over our brains! They will castrate us in every way except the physical! Having lost our virility, we have to feel some newfangled variety of love for all, even thought there is no reason to do so.

They say the heroes on the mountain and the battlefields have all been demystified. God has been destroyed. And only a few conquerers, philosophers, and moralists have yet to be dissolved. We’re left with the will. We’re supposed to be satisfied with only the will to copulate. Anyone can enjoy this. The will to be superior slams into a ceiling, equally low for everyone. We believe in this modern love, and each one of us must care about pulling up the little men. Modern love seems to have prevailed.

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The Greatest People of all time-Nels Frye

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