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"Some phone psychics provide useless, erroneous information" - StatenIsland Sunday Advance > Ambivilen > Lets see the body (07-31-03)
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Lets see the body
C. S. V. Boyairre
07.31.03-West 57th St-New York, NY

So Bob Hope finally died, and I hate to be like this…I really do, but with regards to recent precedents set, in this society of mob-based law, I’m afraid this time we’re going to have to see the pictures for one last ‘memory’ of good ol’ Bob.

JULY 25, 2003-BAGHDAD:”Hey, Look at that!”, he said while pointing.

You see, many of you may be aware that this is not the first time that Mr. Hope has kicked the can, called it quits, gone caputski. IN the news business they apparently have all the obits of people they expect to die all saved up. Bob Hope has already died several times on the news by accident.

SEE! This one from CNN made years before! Click here to see the one they’ve got on their site now!
They’ve got one from Reagn too and he ain’t dead yet(well at least his body?)

Vigoda 1921-?
Hope isn’t the only victim, in the case of Abe Vidogoda, he was purportedly dead several decades ago due to an erroneous Life Magazine article While Vigoda’s career may have been dead post Barney Miller, he himself was not and had struggled to regain consciousness ever since. Lucky for the low-rated early days of the Conan O’Brien show or we may never know what happened to good ol’ from Barney Miller!

If Bob Hope is alive or dead, many this week have said that his legacy will live on. Its too unfortunate that he lived so long that there are so many people walking this earth that have no idea what exactly his legacy might be. I mean sure, he went to the armies and has a golf club, but doesn’t Robin Williams do that type of shit now and didn’t Johnny Carson make all the golf jokes and had that swing? What exactly did Hope ever say that was all that funny? Did he have a particular punchline? Sure, thanks for the Memories, but of what?

What this says is that when I take my kids to Hollywood and they see a Bob Hope statue, and asked who the hell he was I’ll tell them he had specials, he lived longer than most, and for some reason he kept dying more times than he actually did. I will tell them that in the renaissance era, there were funny men-"Court Jesters" if you will, and they don’t have any statues, and if they did, no one would remember these days who the hell they were and why they were so funny. There will always be court jesters, I’ll tell them, but this guy was the first one, that was recognized in so many different courts at once, because he came around at the time that all of the different courtrooms began to get connected into one.

Signfeld of the times
The only thing I have left to say is that despite his record, if I were Jerry Seinfeld, I would be very concerned at the time of Hope’s death, very concerned and I am certain that Seinfeld, whether he admits it or not, doesn’t want to see that dead body because he knows that his day will come too, when no one will remember his show about nothing and with Hope’s dead body looking him dead in the face, taunting him that the day of his irrelevance will sooner than later be upon us.
You may be asking, why do we really need to know that he’s dead, its not like he went into weddings had sex with the bride and then shot the groom in front of the whole family like these two mugs to the left…

I think the real reason is because society has bothered for so long to maintain that he was alive, with maybe the Hope or the prospect that he may rise again some day and tell the funniest joke yet recorded. A joke that would make people remember him long past his days on this planet or off. It is for that reason, since now its almost impossible to tell, we must know for certain that he will not live to tell another fresh joke again.

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