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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. > Ambivilen > Army Buddy Willie (07-17-02)
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Army Buddy Willie
C. S. V. Boyairre
6.20.02-Gold Beach, OR

Hey…did I ever tell ya about my ol’ army buddy Willie? Me and him served several tours togetha back in nam, and I hadn’t seen him fer several yeaas so, here I met up wit him in Ore-gan. Lucky that fools alive…not jest after ‘nam…but after this day out on his farm out in MANasses, VaGINya,…not charlie nor no nothin’ gonna get this fucka down!
"So, I was chopping down the tree one moonin’…bout 7 AM…like I always doo. It twas a cold fuckin’ day in Novemba’…boy was it cold!

So I was choppin’ tha tree you see and I think I waz standin’ on the wrong side of it—SUCH A DUMY I waz…cause tha next thing I knew tha whole fuckin’ tree fell on top o me!! It knocked me clean out cold right thar for ova an howa.

When I came too, it musta bin ‘bou 8:30 by then–I knew my back waz broke. I call out and I call out fa help and no one was hearin’ me. I knew I’d betta get some help soon, or I’d beya goner.

SO somehow I climbed up out from under that there tree..don’t ask how!…and I crawled on ova to that thar tracta. I knew my back waz broke like-I told ya so I couldn’t stand up or nothin’.

So I climbed on up on that thar tracta and I layed long ways. I couldn’t drive too fast cause da bumps were mighty painful on me.

I got back up to the house it twaz ‘bout 9:30 already. I crawled on in and called up m’ wife Rose at wurk and told her come back ‘round home ta take me to da hospital.

I damn near put da phone up on da hook and I hear sirens a comin’ up to da’ house… the woman called nine-wun-wun on me!..I coulda’ made it in on my own-damn it!

So I gets to da hospital and they put mein onea those full-body casts…you know like some sorta mummy or somethin’ and they got me down there in dat hospital bed fa nearly two weeks.

Da first coupla daz they had this druggie whose waz yellin’ day and night fa his dope! I hadn’t heard ain’t nothin’ like dat since Sai-gon. The rest’ a tha time they have me in there next toa damn queer!! Can you believe dat? Afta all this they put me next to a damn queer!! I couldn’t do no nothin’ bout’ dat though..but dat was surely da wurst part!

I ask him "SO Willie…how’d you do it? I mean…Why didn’t you just wait for someone to come or somethin’"

The guy next ta me answered for him…a burly dude, one with tree trunk arms, "You just gonna lay dere and die?!!?!?! OR are you gonna fight like a man!"

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