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Tomarken.com > Msme. C. S. V. Boyairre > Boyairrisms: “In a match to decide who will survive”:NJ. vs. NY (04-14-02)
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Boyairrisms
04.15.02-”In a match to decide who will survive”:NJ. vs. NY

So I was on the Mountain Top in New Joy-see and they were talking about all of the extra people that we now have on the planet since some arbitrary point in time. “There’s so many of us,” they said, “more than ever before.”

Well, that kind of talk is pretty profound in and of itself, and by most historical accounts that we have, it would seem like a pretty damn accurate assertion too, especially with all of the bridges and tunnels and green skies all around the tri-state area. But something had occurred to me on the mountain top,,, a proclamation of sorts-I made the proclamation remembering all of those lineages that did not survive.. you know those people who died all alone and they had no kids to carry on their family name. These people are often forgotten about when come election time, in mass marketing schemes, and in the History Channel’s® illustrius stream of war, WAR, WAR videos. According to the legend, all of us who currently reside of planet earth have made it past some evolutionary obstacles substantial enough that others have not and nobody ever takes time out to remember those who services, while weak and no longer available could have produced generations more of people who provided weak unnecessary services. And here I was on the New Joysee Mountain top, considering all powerful capitalists at the supposed height of capitalism enjoying there Sunday afternoon, and these were some of the true survivors because in their own opinions, they individually control a vast amount of resources, yet if you look at a whole lot of ‘em, they aren’t very large and muscular, and can be stiffled by a mere car accident on the Pulaski Skyway.After such a glorious and politically viable proclamation to all of those who did not make it past those dasted evolutionary dead man’s curves in life, it may have seemed prudent to run for congress on such an issue of getting a permanent memorial established, maybe right there in New Joysee, for all of these dormant gene pools that at the present time, no longer be taped into(we might have to ask Mr. Bush about that one), but instead I considered what you all might or maybe should be thinking who among us might be the next to go?

On this matter of survival, I considered the sign What a difference a State Makes!!.. and so I thought it might beya good idea when considering the childish rivalry between New Joy-see and New Yak, to ponder what might happen if there was another evolutionary curve in life, caused by angry militants carrying torches, ak47s and batteries NJ Path® Tickets, to forcibly make everyone in Manhattan to move into Joysee and everyone from Joysee to move into Manhattan, with only the items which they can carry about their person and bring onto those commuter Path® trains.

Of course, the Joyseeians thought that they could easily survive if their entire state were crammed onto the island on Manhattan- “Of course,” they said, “we go there all the time, those Mahattaner’s now they’d have the problem, te-hee.” I argued that regardless of whether Joyseeians could have been to Manahattan, some of them would most certainly die as a result of such a move-some would inevitably fail to adapt-whether it be of a deficiency an unknown reliance on a chemical found only in the water in NJ, or maybe because they would get lost without all of the hundreds of stupid signs they put up in New Joysee-maybe they wouldn’t be able to drive safely there since they are always so worried about those terrible New York drivers, and now they may become them, or would they still be those New Joysee drivers?->who knows, but certainly some would die…SOME would definitely die…

Then of the Manhattaner’s well, it does seem that from at least their perspective, such a change could be considered most catistrophic-maybe even the end of the world(I mean..do they even have Mamosas on the other side of the river?). One would hope that some would not be desperate enough to take their own lives in the process, but there might be some cases and those would be considered under the category of those failing to adapt. There would of course be nightmares with transportation with all of the unlicensed drivers…the lack of unnecessary sirens and honking and yelling and screaming might allow Manhanttaner’s to have better hearing in New Joysee than back from where they came and thus maybe some may hear more of what their spouses are saying in their troubled marriages? The the limits as big as a “New York Corned Beef sandwich” of the possible ramifications of such a switcherooo, and who knows what CONNeticuit or the Long IIIIISland would have to say about things-but most certainly many people would not survive as a result…MANY people would definitely die.


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